The nerves have kicked in.
It is with goosebumps that I type this very first post pertaining to my "Journey #2". That's right, folks. It's still growing moss, but the ball is slowly beginning to budge. I have finally made up my mind. I am going to go ahead and apply to Growing Generations for a second surrogacy. I've put a lot of serious thought into it, and I believe this is what I'm meant to be doing.
It's ironic, that I feel like I have more things to be nervous about now, as an experienced surrogate, than I knew to be nervous about when I was going into my first round. Two years later I have met dozens of amazing surro-sisters and intently listened to and read their stories through blogs and surrogate groups. Surrogacies do not tend to go from idea to birth without a hitch or two along the way. I was extremely lucky that so much of my experience was absolutely perfect. We adore the new branch on our family tree. We would do this again for them in a heartbeat, but they are good in the baby department right now. I will be matching with a new 'intended parent' (IP). We can only hope that we are blessed with another IP or IP's as full of love and respect for me and my family as our first IP's were, and still are. We can only pray that the first transfer attempt is successful. We can only wait, with baited breath, to see the end of a healthy pregnancy with a healthy baby. Having shared the positive, hopeful, and sometimes sad feelings with these fellow surrogates I have met in the last 2 years, I now have more what-if's to consider possible. None of these, however, put a dent in the true reason for becoming a surrogate in the first place. Love. Like all parents, I love my family more than I could ever illustrate. If I can be the person who helps another family come to be - it's absolutely worth the what-if's. It's worth the inconveniences. I just know that if I didn't try to be that person again, while my body is capable, I would look back on my life and regret giving up the opportunity of a lifetime.
Today is only one tiny little step. My husband and I only had the final decision-making conversation just last week. I don't actually want to get started for at least a couple months. My beginning application has been submitted today and soon will begin the rather mundane tasks of gathering medical records, etc.
I appreciate each of you that reads this and whatever positive thoughts and prayers you feel compelled to send out, for a successful and healthy "Journey #2".